To Make You Laugh

Just a story to make you laugh. This story is from my almost 6 year old.

First, to understand this entire story, you need to know how much my youngest boy dislikes school. Kregg has a wonderful teacher. I've been in the classroom as a helper. So, I've seen first hand she does great with the kids and does lots of fun things to keep them interested in the learning process. I don't really think his feelings about school have anything to do with school ... his feelings have everything to do with his love of ... home. He wants to be home. All the time.

Every morning, he gets up and tries to find some way to stay ... home. For example ... his head hurts, his feet hurt, his eye hurts ... he has a hole in his sock ... he has growing pains (super bad in his words) or even ... one time, his "pee-pee" hurt and he couldn't wear clothes and since you can't go to school naked, he would just have to stay home.

So ... yesterday, I picked the boys up from school. Half way to the car, Kregg starts crying. He tells me he had a REALLY bad day at school. He had to move his "clip" two times. This statement is enforced by Kregg holding up to fingers, in the air ... and wide eyes. That's bad. I say, ok and we'll talk about it in the car. We get into the car and the story spills ...

"Mama, I can't tell you. It's really bad." He won't look at me.

"It's ok, Kregg. You'll feel better if you talk about it."

I make his big brother cover his ears so only I can hear the terrible offense that caused Kregg to move his clip ... TWO TIMES.

"Well, it's really bad." He's crying, face in his hands."I stomped on a peanut butter and jelly." Huge sigh from his little body and he waits for me to punish him.

"In the lunch room? How did that happen?"

"I dropped my PB & J on accident. And, then ... I stomped on it. Mrs. Frank caught me." He cries more.

"Kregg, that's pretty bad. That probably made a big mess for the lunch ladies to clean up. But, it's ok 'cause you won't do it again now that you know better." I smile back at him. Because, really ... in all the things he could do to get in BIG trouble ... this isn't so bad ... but, I don't tell him that because he needs to understand it was wrong.

He's still crying. I'm puzzled.

"You won't do it again, right Kregg?" I ask because it doesn't sound like he understands he can't do that again.

"That's just it, Mama. I think I'm gonna have to do it again." He shrugs and cries ... more.

"Why, why would you have to do it again?" I'm confused even more, this makes no sense at all.

"Well, I'm gonna have to stomp on another PB&J. Cause if you're really naughty and no one can get you to be good, then they won't let you come to school anymore. And, I hate school. Stompin' on that PBJ was the mostest trouble I ever got in at school." Big sigh. "So, I'm gonna have to do it again" Shrug of his tiny shoulders, like he's been defeated " ... that way I ain't gotta go to school no more." More tears.

I turn around in the seat to laugh where he can't see me.

Seriously ... Kregg would rather get in major trouble and be kicked out of school then to have to just go to school and ... have fun.

Yes, Kregg is up this morning and ready for school. Today, there was a hole in his sock again ... he was certain he couldn't go to school. But, we finally found a pair without holes. I explained to him that if you are in major trouble and can't go to school ... well ... then you can't stay home either.