Friday, January 8, 2010


"But EVERYBODY else is doing it, Mom! Come on!" I tried in my most pleading teenager voice.

No vocal response from Mom, just the look that always said the discussion was over and the decision was final. I wouldn't be going to the movie all my friends were seeing that weekend. I had lots of choices ... other things to do, other friends to "hang out" with ... but, I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to fit in and have lots of "cool" friends.

I grew up in what most would call a conservative family. Choices were made based upon our faith, values and prayer. If something didn't fit into those shapes ... the answer was "no." I always thought my parents made it look easy ... you know, saying no. Now that I am a parent, I know the decisions may have been easy but following through on them was not. Telling your children "no" can be difficult, especially when you know it will bring disappointment. On top of that ... add in the fact that you know other kids/parents will think you and your children are prudes.

This is an area I struggle through on a regular basis. All three of my children want to have and do certain things. Their ages are spread out between 10 years. So, the wants are varied. Some decisions are easy for me but then, there are others that weigh heavy on my heart. I want my boys to enjoy their childhood and have lots of friends. How do I know what I should or should not let them do?

One thing my parents always asked me ... "would you do that or watch that if Jesus were sitting there with you?" In truth, He is always with us and knows, not only what we are doing, but He also knows our every thought. My parents question was just a way of bringing Him into my physical life not just my spiritual life.

Do you struggle with this as a parent? Or, are you somehow involved in the lives of children and find it hard to balance what they want with what you know to be right?

Something my childhood taught me ... you don't have to do what everyone else is doing to have fun or joy in your life. Having God in your life ... THAT is where the joy comes from.

I know my boys don't understand this right now. But, someday, they will.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."


  1. "Something my childhood taught me ... you don't have to do what everyone else is doing to have fun or joy in your life. Having God in your life ... THAT is where the joy comes from..." - Amen to that.

    Growing up, teaching my child to have that reverential fear of the Lord makes a big difference. He knows that contentment comes from knowing Him. I just pray that he won't be influenced by worldly things but him, influencing peers with things of the Lord. It's not easy but as the Father directs us or guides us, we also can learn from Him with His parenting skills. May the Lord give our children discernment! Blessings to you sister and Happy New Year! May God's richest blessings unfold each day for you and your family.

  2. It is tough raising teenagers. 4 out of 5 of our kids are grown, now. I have heard every excuse. You have to love a lot and stand firm.

    Hugs, andrea

  3. I've been having this very same conflict with both of my kids and feel we just need to spend more time with God and less time in the world to make this all the more apparent to them.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  4. Thanks to each of you for your comments. It's good know I am not alone in my struggle and to know that other parents feel the same way. God bless each of you.