Did She Know?

She was 17 ... 17 filled with so much promise. I never had the pleasure of knowing her.

From what I've been told ... she was easy to love. The sound of her footsteps outside the door were identifiable ... unlike any other visitor walking up to the door. She was a good friend, one of the best. And, she was killed in a car accident ... at just 17.

Lisa was a best friend to Cindi's daughter. Cindi is my friend. Lisa spent enough time under their roof to be called family. Enough nights under their roof that she had her own bed.

When she passed away, my friend spent much time ministering to the heart of her family ... her husband, daughter and son. Lisa's passing left a gaping hole ... a great divide. When someone is so entwined in your everyday ... it can't be any other way. You have to find the way to fill that void, that hurt and all over ache. The painful silence of ... no Lisa. You might stop and listen, thinking you hear that special someones foot fall outside your door ... but then ... you remember, that's not possible. And, the pain starts again.

After ministering to her family for some time, Cindi felt God's presence ... He came to her when everything started to slip through her fingers. He came and caught what fell ... her tears. For Cindi, Lisa was like another daughter ... she grieved the loss and the pain her own daughter felt at the passing of a best friend.

And ... then she began to question. Don't we all after someone passes?

This past Sunday, at church, Cindi stood up and challenged others to share their pleasure in someone, to tell them you love them, tell them how much they mean to you ... tell them, tell them ... don't stop telling them ... because tomorrow isn't a guarantee. You have this moment. Take it.

Cindi questioned ... did she let Lisa know how much she was loved? Did Lisa know for sure ... without a doubt how much she meant to Cindi and their entire family?

I can answer that question. I've been in Cindi's home. I have had the absolute pleasure of eating lunch beside their fireplace and playing with their dog, Dory. I have been given the opportunity to call their family ... friends. And ... I know in their family ... I am loved. Just as I am ... good, bad and everything in between. So, I know beyond a doubt ... Lisa left this earth blessed to have been a part of Cindi's family.

Are you making that difference in some one's life? Are you using up every moment to let those you love ... know you love them?

Sometimes, I don't do that. I get so caught up in the world ... I forget about those things. Make today a day filled with purpose ... purposeful love for others and the sharing of that love.

Psalm 139:1-3 "O Lord, You have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise,You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways."

We'll Be Too Busy

Our family of five filed into the small elementary school. We followed the path of acquaintances, friends and strangers ... family night at school. It was the night set aside for students and families to come in and meet the teachers ... find the classrooms and "get comfortable" with the surroundings ... before the first official day of school.

Our family found the room where one of my boys would spend 5 days a week for the next nine months. The walls were covered in alphabet, numbers, birthday candles, weather signs ... it smelled of new crayons and finger paint. I smiled and followed James as he ran his fingers across the large desks and then shelves filled with colorful books. He found friends he hadn't seen all summer and they began to tell tales of lazy summer fun.

We stopped to meet the teacher and I noticed a small blond haired boy ... tearing up. It was only family night and his fears, uncertainty were already "getting the best of him." I felt like a fist clenched around my heart ... too much of my school years were spent the same way ... fearful, uncertain. I felt for that little boy and for his mommy. He whimpered in his mother's shoulder ... "Everybody's gonna pick on me." Again, my heart ... being picked on ... again the same for my childhood ... school hood.

Then, the teacher did something ... said something ... She put her hand on his back, leaned down on his level and said "That won't happen in my classroom. We'll be having too much fun to pick on each other. You're going to make some really good friends this year ... I promise."

In that moment, she earned his trust. He looked up at her with bright blue eyes and smiled. She returned the smile and a wink to his mommy. I immediately liked this teacher. There was something in her eyes ... I knew she was going to keep that promise.

And, she did. Her classroom held no tolerance for "making fun", "picking on" ... all of the kids made good friends. They did have fun. Too much fun for there to be any time for other things ... lesser things ... hurtful things.

What if our lives were like that? What if ... we were so busy loving others that we didn't have time for hurtful things?

I find myself giving time to thoughts, feelings and actions that are hurtful. Hurtful to me and to others. And, then ... I don't have enough time to spend on the good things ... on love ... mercy ... grace. Things that make me feel good, things that make others feel good ... things that please God.

This week, I'm challenging myself. Less time for hurtful things and more time for love.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."

Something He's Not

Meet Buddy. He's been a part of the Willis Family for the past 6 years. And ... Buddy thinks he's a lap dog. As you can see in this picture, Buddy is NOT a lap dog. He's a border collie and is too big to hop on someones lap and cuddle up ... but ... he tries and we let him.

It's not that we let him when he was a puppy and he's never grown out of the habit. He was never held or cuddled on our laps. He was an outside dog for 3 years. After deciding to take on a van traveling down our highway ... he retired to the laundry room to mend a broken leg. And ... he's been inside ever since ... acting like something he's not.

Buddy wants to be as close to us as possible ... especially close to Jerry, our oldest son Clay and my Dad (lap in the picture). Buddy is a "people pleaser" kind of dog. He wants us to love him, play with him, include him ... everything all the time ... Buddy needs to be in it. That's where he feels comfortable and best. For some reason, Buddy has decided that being a lap dog is somehow better than being what he is ... a sit by your feet kind of dog.

Have you ever done that? Tried to be something you're not. I have.

I struggle to accept who I am is good enough, pretty enough, smart enough ... so many things ... things I feel like I am not but wish I could be. So, I try to be all the things I think will please other people. All the things I think will make other people love me more, want to include me more. Somewhere along the way, I told myself I had to be perfect. I had to fit into some kind of mold the world created for women, wives and mothers.

When all along, I've been perfectly me ... the person God created me to be. His mold is the only one I need to be concerned with ... it's the only one I have to fit in to. My imperfections allow God to manifest His perfections.

The Willlis Family loves Buddy whether he's a lap dog or a dog sitting by our feet. We accept him just as he is ... imperfections and all.

What about you ... do you struggle with being someone you are not? Do you accept others just the way they are? Do you tell others how they must behave in order to fit into your mold?

1 Timothy 1:12-17 "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. "

Steady the Ladder

We're building a fort. Not a small one either. I know, we're crazy! Well, I guess I have to admit, I'm the crazy one. And ... Jerry and my Dad ... they're the ones working on my crazy plan. But, really ... we looked everywhere for a fort with all the things we wanted for the boys ... and ... in our price range. Nothing ... so ... we set out on a mission. On an adventure. At it's highest peak, this fort will stand 11 feet off the ground. There will be a castle tower, a bridge leading to a small pirate ship and lots of cool things hidden inside. It's going to be a long, time consuming task.

Jerry and my Dad have been handling a large portion of the frame work. But, I decided I wanted to do something to help. Aren't all mommies like that? Don't we always have to be in on the action? I do. I wanted to be able to say ... "Hey, I helped build that!" So, I decided to help with the frame on the 11 foot castle tower.

I was about 8 feet off the ground, standing on an older ladder. As I swung the hammer, I felt the ladder shift under my weight. My legs buckled a little and I grabbed hold of the support beam. But ... I didn't need it. From out of nowhere, the ladder steadied. I gained my balance and looked down ... there was my Dad ... hand on the ladder, balancing it ... steadying it.

As we worked through the remaining support beams, I thought about how good it felt to go from being afraid I would fall 8 feet to the hard ground ... to feeling safe, knowing I was totally safe. I could stand at the very top rung and hammer in the nail. I could finish what I started ... knowing I had someone steadying my ladder.

Life is so much like that. I want that for each of my boys. I want them to climb as high as they want ... knowing that Jesus will be there to steady them if they start to slip. And, isn't that what Jesus wants for us, His children? He wants us to know He is ALWAYS there ... always watching ... steadying. And, we can do that for each other. We can be the one standing at the bottom of the ladder, watching and waiting ... to steady it when our brothers and sisters in Christ slip. When they need support, balancing ... someone to hold the ladder while they set out on their adventures, reach their goals ... their dreams.

Have you steadied a ladder today?

Hebrews 13:6 "So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

To Make You Laugh

Just a story to make you laugh. This story is from my almost 6 year old.

First, to understand this entire story, you need to know how much my youngest boy dislikes school. Kregg has a wonderful teacher. I've been in the classroom as a helper. So, I've seen first hand she does great with the kids and does lots of fun things to keep them interested in the learning process. I don't really think his feelings about school have anything to do with school ... his feelings have everything to do with his love of ... home. He wants to be home. All the time.

Every morning, he gets up and tries to find some way to stay ... home. For example ... his head hurts, his feet hurt, his eye hurts ... he has a hole in his sock ... he has growing pains (super bad in his words) or even ... one time, his "pee-pee" hurt and he couldn't wear clothes and since you can't go to school naked, he would just have to stay home.

So ... yesterday, I picked the boys up from school. Half way to the car, Kregg starts crying. He tells me he had a REALLY bad day at school. He had to move his "clip" two times. This statement is enforced by Kregg holding up to fingers, in the air ... and wide eyes. That's bad. I say, ok and we'll talk about it in the car. We get into the car and the story spills ...

"Mama, I can't tell you. It's really bad." He won't look at me.

"It's ok, Kregg. You'll feel better if you talk about it."

I make his big brother cover his ears so only I can hear the terrible offense that caused Kregg to move his clip ... TWO TIMES.

"Well, it's really bad." He's crying, face in his hands."I stomped on a peanut butter and jelly." Huge sigh from his little body and he waits for me to punish him.

"In the lunch room? How did that happen?"

"I dropped my PB & J on accident. And, then ... I stomped on it. Mrs. Frank caught me." He cries more.

"Kregg, that's pretty bad. That probably made a big mess for the lunch ladies to clean up. But, it's ok 'cause you won't do it again now that you know better." I smile back at him. Because, really ... in all the things he could do to get in BIG trouble ... this isn't so bad ... but, I don't tell him that because he needs to understand it was wrong.

He's still crying. I'm puzzled.

"You won't do it again, right Kregg?" I ask because it doesn't sound like he understands he can't do that again.

"That's just it, Mama. I think I'm gonna have to do it again." He shrugs and cries ... more.

"Why, why would you have to do it again?" I'm confused even more, this makes no sense at all.

"Well, I'm gonna have to stomp on another PB&J. Cause if you're really naughty and no one can get you to be good, then they won't let you come to school anymore. And, I hate school. Stompin' on that PBJ was the mostest trouble I ever got in at school." Big sigh. "So, I'm gonna have to do it again" Shrug of his tiny shoulders, like he's been defeated " ... that way I ain't gotta go to school no more." More tears.

I turn around in the seat to laugh where he can't see me.

Seriously ... Kregg would rather get in major trouble and be kicked out of school then to have to just go to school and ... have fun.

Yes, Kregg is up this morning and ready for school. Today, there was a hole in his sock again ... he was certain he couldn't go to school. But, we finally found a pair without holes. I explained to him that if you are in major trouble and can't go to school ... well ... then you can't stay home either.

My "To Do" List

1. Get up, get ready for work
2. Get the kids up, ready for school ... get the kids to school
3. Work (all day)
4. Take James to baseball practice
5. Get homework done for all three boys
6. Fix supper
7. Get everybody ready for bed and safely tucked in for the night
8. Collapse

My "To Do" List.

It's the same nearly everyday ... the same list, the same people on the list, the routine ... the same.

Most of the time, I find myself just trying to make it through to number 8. And, I hope and pray there are no sudden surprises between number 2 and 4. No sick kids to pick up early from school, no car trouble ... nothing that would "mess up" my to do list.

Yesterday, my niece's anesthesiologist taught me a much needed lesson. He opened my eyes to the truth in a to do list ... take off the numbers ... don't make it a list ...

My niece, Hope, was in for yet another surgery. She struggles with nausea. After nearly every surgery, she spends hours throwing up. The last 5 months have been filled with surgeries to give her ears. She was born with only buds due to her Treacher Collins Syndrome (TCS). Imagine ... the amount of pain already from being cut open so many times. Then add on top of that pressure from throwing up for hours. Painful.

Yesterday, this new anesthesiologist read through Hope's chart. He found her struggle with nausea and ... he did something about it. He's been trained in acupuncture.

After Hope's surgery, this man came back into the recovery room. He stayed with her ... performing acu pressure on different points of her body. He knew ... he knew he could help. He knew the acu pressure would decrease her nausea. So, instead of moving on to his next patient, the next surgery ... he came back, performed the acu pressure and ... it worked. Hope woke up with NO nausea.

Hope woke up with a smile.

All because, this man saw Hope as more than just a number on his "to do" list. He saw her as a special little girl struggling. He used his gifts to help her. Then, he went beyond that ... he went and talked with my sister and my brother-in-law about Hope's nausea. He let them know of what could be done to help.

He made a difference. He saw each patient as a person, not a number.

Do I ever make that effort? Are there things I could do differently?

Today, I'm taking the numbers off my list ... I'm taking time to see the people I'm blessed to have on my list. I'm going to use my gifts at work ... use them to make a difference for the people I meet.

Thank you, Malik ... your care for my niece not only made her feel better ... but, it taught me something. I pray you are blessed.

What are you doing today? Do you have gifts to give? Are there numbers on your list?


Romans 12:6-8 "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

Part of the Team

"Who said that?" Ball bat pointed out across the field, the coach eyed his players. "Fine! No one wants to tell me, Fine!"

A dozen seven and eight year olds stood wide eyed, shocked ... the coach rarely raised his voice. They knew he meant business. For once, the team didn't move ... the entire group of squirmy kids ... stood frozen.

"I better NEVER hear that again! If I do, I'll find out who said it and you'll be done. No more play time!"

I watched from my seat in the car. I sat with the windows down, watching my almost eight year old practicing catch. Whoever it was ... it wasn't him (thank goodness!). He was too far away from the coach to be the guilty one.

From my spot beside the field, it sounded like one of the players was poking fun at a team mate. I could've been wrong but I was pretty sure. The coach's voice was lowered again ... I couldn't make out everything he said ... but, one thing was clear, someone had disappointed him. Someone wasn't acting like a part of the team. They were too busy picking out the wrongs of their team to even notice what they might be doing wrong.

In that moment, I gained a new respect for my son's coach. I saw a part of him I did not see during last season. I liked this part ... this firm respect for each player. For the rest of practice, encouragement came for and from each member of my son's team. The coach let that moment go and moved on to playing ball with his team.

We could use more of that coach in our world. The businesses in our communities need more of that coach.

Unfortunately there are a lot of companies that need someone like that ... someone who will command respect for co-workers. Someone who will lead by example and guide their team to respect each player. Rather than picking out each players faults ... they need someone who will point out the strengths and gently guide the players to improve. Somewhere along the way, that's been lost ... I don't want to be like that ... I want to be someone like my son's baseball coach.

As Christians, we are blessed to be lead by a Coach guiding us with encouragement. And ... He tolerates no judgement or condemnation. Within the field of His team, there is room to fail and encouragement to do better. There is acceptance and appreciation for the strength of each player. A game can not be won by the coach ... it can not be won by one good player ... you need the entire team.

Romans 12:3-8 "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.