Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Tonight, I am tired and angry and sad and frustrated and worried ... and ... asking why? Why has God not healed Hope?

Hope is one of my beautiful nieces. She was born with Treacher Collins. And, over the past 5 months, she has endured countless surgeries to form ears where previously she had only buds. The first ear went great and the doctors were very confident the second would go just as well.

Tomorrow, my niece will face yet another surgery. I have to be honest and tell you ... I've lost track. I can't remember exactly what number this procedure is in the miles she has walked. But, tomorrow afternoon, she will walk away from her parents, holding the hand of her friend ... a nurse who will take her into the operating room. She will, yet again, trust her doctor and her God ... to take care of her while she closes her eyes and lets the sleepy medicine do its work.

Hope knows on the other side of tomorrow ... there will be pain. There will be several days filled with silence. She can not wear her hearing aid after the surgery. Without her aid, noises are muffled and weak. The stitches will hurt and itch. There will be nausea and vomiting from the surgery.

She is just a little girl ... a little girl who wants ears. Ears for her MP3 and for earrings ... why hasn't God given them?

Do you ever find yourself asking God ... why? When that happens, what do you do ... where do you go for strength?
I don't have all the answers. I don't know if tomorrow will be the final surgery in this process. I don't know for certain God will choose for Hope to have two ears ... or just one ... I don't know those things. But, I do know this ... I've learned so much by watching my sister and her husband ... watching both my nieces ... and by watching God work His perfection.
I know that tomorrow ... isn't about me. It's about Hope and her mom and dad and big sister. It's about encouraging them when they need us and waiting patiently while the doctor uses the gifts God has given him.
And ... it's about knowing that whatever tomorrow holds ... God's holding tomorrow.

James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see."


  1. Yes, dear friend I do find myself asking why and I think GOD Is okay with us asking and seeking HIM with our questions. Know that I will be praying for Hope. I will not forget b/c Hope and I share names...Hope is my middle name.
    If you would like a prayer button for Hope, please ask Edie at http://richgifts.blogspot.com She makes them free for urgent requests. It is a ministry. She is an awesome, kind, precious lady and I know she would be honored to make Hope a button so that we could all post it on our blogs. Just tell her that I sent you.
    Hugs, love, and LOTS of PRAYERS,

    PS: Don't forget...We are storming the heavens together on this one!!

  2. Some things we will never know until we face Him. Praying that the surgery will go well and for Hope's quick recovery. May God's comfort and strength cover you all. Blessings to you sister.

  3. Thank you both for praying for Hope. You don't even know her and you are commiting to prayer for her. God Bless you both for your faithfulness. I am moved to tears. God Bless you both!

  4. I used to ask why. But somewhere along the way, I chose to accept suffering as the norm and now I occaisionally catch myself asking God why He has blessed me in a particular way. A way I often wouldn't have seen if I had been asking why I was suffering.
    I will be praying for Hope, her family, and for you. Because in the end, it is also about you. About you learing God's goodness, mercy, grace, forgiveness, provision, and love. It is about you. Blessings.

  5. Yea, sometimes I ask the questions too.. Sometimes what God does or doesn't do just doesn't make sense to me. I am praying for Hope today!

    Thank you for visiting my blog and the sweet words you left me. As usual you blessed me!

  6. I am stopping back in to check on HOPE....She has been on my heart and mind. I pray she is doing well and each of you are coping and doing well.

    My email is: aperdue7@comcast.net

    Hugs, blessings, and prayers,

  7. Andrea, thank you so much for stopping by to check on Hope. She goes back to the dr. on Tuesday. They'll remove the bandaging and make decisions after seeing what the skin is doing. So, we're just waiting ... waiting ... it's the hardest thing. She did much better this time ... no throwing up and woke up much faster. Aine :)