Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Laptops, Book Bags and Burdens
"Here Mama, carry this. And, this too." Kregg hands me his laptop bag and book bag. He keeps a library book in one hand.
I'm tired. I've been at work for over half the day. My feet hurt from high heels - the ones I just had to wear even though I know my feet will be sore by the end of the day. My head hurts. Kregg doesn't know I've been yelled at more times than I can count today. He doesn't know I've been pulled in what feels like 20 different directions. All he knows is ... he's tired and those bags are heavy. I nearly tell him, "no". But, then ... I take them and we wait for his older brother.
"I didn't have fun at recess today." Kregg hides one hand in mine.
"Why? You always like recess." I'm half listening and half watching for James.
"I got left out. I just sat on the sidewalk." Kregg buries his face in my coat and starts to cry. Not loud cries. The soft cries that most people wouldn't notice, but a mom can feel in her heart.
I wrap my arm around his shoulders. I let him cry because sometimes you just need to cry. James finds us in the school hallway. I can tell by the look on his face ... he knows Kregg is upset too. James hands me another book bag but carries his own laptop bag. We walk the short distance out the side door and to our car. My arms are worn out by the time I pile the load on my front seat and remind the boys to buckle their seat belts. I listen to Kregg as he tells me how his day was and why recess was 'not fun' today. I drive home as James recounts interesting details about history and how he finally got an 'A' on his spelling test.
Halfway home, the boys are in their own little world listening to the Disney radio station and arguing over who has the most homework.
I'm left in my own thoughts ... How many times do I come to Jesus with heavy bags? He waits for me and I come to Him. I hand Him the burdens I've carried all day. They're heavy and I'm tired. I know He's probably heard a thousand prayers and people have cried out to Him all day. But, He never tells me 'no' ... 'they're too heavy and I'm too tired'. Sometimes I cry. Not the loud kind of crying that others can hear but the quiet, soft crying that only He hears. He lets me. Because, He knows sometimes you just need to cry.
Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."